Credits

Neil Matharoo - Vocals, Guitar, Bass, Piano, Synthesizer, Percussion
Hampus Öhman-Frölund - Drums
Alexandra Moiseev - Cello
Trevett McCandliss - Percussion

Produced, Mixed, and Mastered by Neil Matharoo
Drum Engineering by Gary Olson

Additional mix support from Nat Boda

Recorded at Union Studios and Marlborough Farms in Brooklyn, New York

Album Cover Photography and Design by Neil Matharoo

Album Cover Layout by Trevett McCandliss

All songs composed by Neil Matharoo
All rights reserved



Admire
You won’t define
Controlling our time
It’s never the same without you here
I take all the blame when you are near
I can be what you want someday, though
If I try

So when
You go home
I’ll keep you alive
I know it’s so long I have to wait
But when you’re broken down it’ll be so great
You can be what I want someday though
If you try

Forget what I told you, my love
Forget what I told you, I lied
You heard what you want to know
Forget when I hold you, we die
Forget that it’s never enough
Still you wear that smile for me

Deny the truth now
Confusing our lines
I give up the game on your command
Remember your name cut in my hand
I can be what you want someday though
If I try

So tear me down now
It’s so easy to hate
It’s nothing but all I want from you
I’m taking the fall again for you
You can be what I want someday though
If you try

Forget what I told you, my love
Forget what I told you, I lied
You heard what you want to know
Forget when I hold you, we die
Forget that it’s never enough
Still you wear that smile for me

Admire
Desire
Your love’s suicide


Independent Glory
Independence wins the day
Independent just like them
Everything sounds the same
I can hear it calling
Every way is down from here
Every day is pain for brave
Independents look the same
Watch them sell the drama

And I will wait for you

Complications in my way
Victory or death, no sorrow
I am finished with this stage
I had thought I lost it
Slide it back in my veins
Got an appetite for destruction
Every day is pain for brave
I can hear it calling

Be independent just like me
Independent just like them
Independent all the way
I can hear it calling


Fade
I tore your brain alright
I ripped it right outside
But I cannot phase you
Do nothing but please you
I took an odd delight
In giving up the fight
Believe in you?
Believe me, I don't

Holy ghost is watching
Holy ghost won't
Ever believe you
Won't ever believe
In you

I wish I had a home
I wish I broke your soul
But I know you
No you don't fade away
I tore your brain alright
I ripped it right outside
But I cannot phase you
Do nothing to please you

I can never see
A reason to let go
Of what is killing me
No reason to let go
Of you
Of me
Of whatever we could never be
I hate you
You won't fade
Oh how I wish you'd fade away


Give It Up
Still you’re mine
You forget
What I said I’d do to you
If you tried to turn away
There was never going back from
What you did then, from what you and I were
Your love’s in pieces
We’ll never be this way again

I want you
But I need to
Hate you now
There’s no forgiveness
So what to do
When I love you
No I can’t see why
There’s no forgiveness

Come on girl, you’re my play
Don’t forget what I do with you
When we try it your way
I know how you like it—cruel
But still you believe
It’s nothing you and I were
You’re love’s in pieces
We’ll never be this way again.

Give it up
Give up
Give it up to me
Maybe then you’ll see
What you’re getting with me
Since you’ve gone from my life
Since you’re gone I’m alright
Still I think I would die
If I’m not with you


In The Face In Justice
Fortune be my sacred friend
Wearing masks will take you far
Speculate the end
Tear it out inside your heart
I guess we’ve got to bleed
 
Glowing eyes of memory
Such a painful way to start
Selfish acts pretend
Hiding what we’ve done so far
I guess we’ve got to bleed
 
I’m reaching out to every god
 
The perfect way to win this throne
The perfect way to break your soul
The perfect way is what you want to know


Nightmare Mouth
You know this time I'm watching you
I'm wasting language on your brain
What can you do without me
What can I do without a trace
To the highlight of your side

But my time is not for sale
So you're making make believe
And to walk away is wrong
Without a fight

You're not a worrier
But your time is all a waste
And I cannot see what the hell is wrong
With playing you

Sad that you would think
That I won't play you for a fool
Sad that you would think
That I'm coming for you

You can't wait for me
For the thirtieth time
And I won't say goodbye
Without a fight


Unexecuted
I wouldn’t feel like it
If I could live with it
(The spoken-word outro is me reading from my journals)

Equipment
Guitars: Fender American Stratocaster, Gibson Les Paul, Fender American Jazz Bass, Takamine acoustic guitar
Amps: Fender Hot Rod Deluxe, Marshall JCM2000 DSL50, Tech 21 Trademark (direct)
Effects: MXR DynaComp, MI Audio Crunch Box, Ibanez AD-9, Dunlop Crybaby